Minor meltdown

I’m now about 12-13 weeks into my build and according to my coach I have possibly another 10 weeks to go. Which scares me slightly … I have a goal to be leaner by the time we go to Croatia in July (Ultra festival again … too excited already) and she’s allowing approx 10 weeks for me to lean off. I’m not sure my body’s that good a ‘get-lean machine’ though and worry I won’t be lean enough for my liking. But hey it’s a long time away so she’s said nose to the ground, keep pushing on and we’ll assess nearer the date.

So what’s changed in the last few weeks. My ass continues to get bigger lol, I swear it’s like sticking out half a meter behind me now, and you could possibly sit a mug on it .. maybe that could be my party trick. For that reason my clothes are tighter on my lower half. But I just buy a bigger size if necessary. It’s not great on the bank balance but helps massively psychologically. I don’t really care what dress size number is in a skirt or jeans, but I hate feeling crappy in tight clothes. So my one tip for anyone building. Get over the labels / sizes in clothes and buy bigger. Your journey through your build will be much more enjoyable.

Whilst my bum and legs feel like they’re continuing to grow, my weight isn’t actually going up that much … Maybe 0.5lbs each week – which is what I’m supposed to averaging at anyway. I think I’m almost at the heaviest I’ve ever been – the last time I was about this weight was at the end of my 2nd year at uni after drinking toooooo many blastaways and pints of lager.

Food – I’m coping good with the amount of food. Because it’s slowly increased over time, I’ve never thought wow that’s a lot of food. I think the time it felt the biggest leap was going from deficit to maintenance. But when I actually look at my plan, and see on non training days I have almost 500 cals for my bedtime snack – I realise I’m on quite a lot. I’m so much more relaxed though – love my free meal at the weekend, and there’s never any stress or guilt associated with it.

Training – this is where I’m really starting to feel a difference. I’ll go up in weights on an exercise and it’ll be a struggle to get all of my reps out. But 2-3 weeks later ill do the first set with that same weight and then think, yeah I think I can go heavier again now.

I also think I’m getting more comfortable with growing, though I still find biweekly check-in day challenging. But on the whole I’m getting better at being ok with getting bigger. However I did have a mini meltdown a couple of weeks ago, I think it was due to time of month, extra bloating … I put on one of my looser dresses and it ‘fitted’ me, as opposed to being loose. Then the next day I split a dress (around the ass lol), Steve assures me it wasn’t because my bum was too big. That evening I temporarily threw my dummy out the pram and was ready to jack it in. Steve just took the p8ss and reminded me of the boulder shoulders I want. My sis was much better at talking me round.

So here I am, still going. 5am get ups in the week to train before work. I’m definitely a morning training person though – I struggle training at 8pm after I get back from work.

What I really want though is a female building buddy … Someone who’s doing exactly what I’m doing, who gets it, and can help when times are tough. Someone who’s on the other end of messenger to chat and compare notes with.

If you know anyone, let me know!! Xx